akudian

Here I am sitting, on the eleventh floor, staring out of the window. School work, grassroots, ad analysis, design, him. Everything ran through my head, like a film in a reel. Only thing is, they run three times faster.

It's one of those moments when u feel time passes you by and you could almost feel it carrassing your skin. You could feel the seconds waste away into nothingness. You could see the cars drive by and the people walk slow on the streets, living their own lives with no acknowldgement of your presence. No one acknowldging my presence now. I am alone.

Why do I hate you so? Cause you upset me. I hate myself even more and I keep asking myself If I am being too petty or too much. Its like reliving an experience that leads to failure again. Don't say you miss me! Don't say you keep thinking about me! Cause you don't. But I do. I hate it, but I certainly do.
You make me smile without reason. They all do. Then you would slip away without reason. They all do. Maybe, maybe I'm just not enough. Or maybe, I'm too much.

I hate looking at something that was once a point in my life the symbol of my dreams. My future. My life. The image of the island in my hands that I could conqure, no mater how small I am. How small I seem to be. But, I am never small, I am bigger than anything or anyone in this world.

Then, there comes a time where your face reflects against the pane and I lose sight of everything. A distraction, I do not need. Someone I've come to love. I wish you were here with me, I wish you were here to hold my hand and then that way, nothing else would matter.

No school work, no grassroots, no ad analysis, no design.

Just you.

How can I come to understand this being? This damned being who upsets me. This great being who loves me. This beautiful being who lifts me up, and bring me to the top of the world...

Sigh.

I guess this is what happens to you when your on the eleventh floor.